Recent Comments

Anonymous
12/27/18, 4:13 PM
ops, my cellphone legged and posted my comment 3 times,
Anonymous
12/27/18, 4:11 PM
I wonder what is going to happen to the other
Anonymous
12/27/18, 4:11 PM
I wonder what is going to happen to the other officers
Anonymous
12/27/18, 4:11 PM
I wonder what is going to happen to the other officers
Anonymous
12/27/18, 3:54 PM
Great story, keep it going
Anonymous
12/27/18, 3:40 PM
If nothing else, I'm curious how a "15 years later" chapter would turn out, where Pat's time is up and he has to return to the real world again. Good story so far!
Anonymous
12/27/18, 3:25 PM
more of this story line plz 😍
12/27/18, 3:11 PM
I'm not a native-English speaker myself, so I'm not really qualified to comment on your English. As far as I can tell, it's pretty much perfect. I didn't find any obvious mistake, with the exception of very(!) few typos. As a matter of fact, you have a talent for writing in a way it makes your story very easy to read. Usually I don't like long texts, I rather get to the point quickly (see my own stories ... :) ). But you have an incredible way of keeping the reader interested, to always top the already hot description of Mowgli's loss of will, so you just cannot stop reading. I was hard throughout your whole story and that was really special. I can only commend you for that! If I had to criticize anything, it's the way you write dialog - from a technical point of view. In (American) English, you put each speaker into its own separate paragraph i.e. every time another person starts to speak, you start a new paragraph. And you don't use any - or * when starting a direct speech. That actually makes it much easier to read dialog, even though it makes the text even longer. But I would still follow that rule. I haven't had the time to read your second story, and I'm almost afraid that it'll be hard even for you to top the first one :) Well, I feel your mind just works quite similar to my own wicked, corrupted mind, so I'm looking forward to whatever you're going to offer here.
12/27/18, 3:04 PM
I haven't posted any new image-stories since the great Tumblr purge, but my Tumblr is all archived at: https://www.timbr.xxx/hypnothrill
Anonymous
12/27/18, 2:55 PM
i would like Glenn to keep Pat for himself!