Awesome as always bro! I love your stories set in bars. More hot topless bartenders

It was an interesting twist to just change their home life and let the dad keep his job, plus the unaware part was pretty hot. It might have been interesting if at the end Desmond made them remember just long enough for them to be horrified at what they had become before reverting them back.

Yes, feet would be a nice add! Also, if you dont want to make a sequel, you can make a prequel about how he fucked up his own family <3

Great story!! I see a series. Can't wait!!

Clever. I liked it!!

Look at Victor Hugo's Les Misérables: he stopped when it felt right. Sometimes the ample background and context makes the sex and other arousing portions even more arousing. :)

Thank you nycboot - as always I feel humbled by your praise. I agree with you actually that parts of the story were slightly rushed - particularly part 10. As I rounded the story off I began to think that maybe I should have teased out Todd's transformation into a zombie in more detail. Then I wondered about actually telling the story of how Lucien seduced the factory-owner's son in the 1790s and got hold of all his money... The problem with stories like this which have a historical sweep is that it's hard to know when to stop.

Bravo, M. Greene! Sometimes I think you channel my fetishes. I totally LOVED the episode where Lucien uses the doll to cast a spell on Marc, and I was hoping you'd do it again for Todd - and you did!!! Maybe a little disappointed it wasn't as dramatic (in a movie, the first episode would be to set up expectations, and the second would be to exceed those expectations), but happy that it was different and that Todd was totally aware of what was happening. In general I love the darkness of your stories (maybe that's why the sci-fi one doesn't get to me as much). Unlike a movie, the darkness is the victor in your stories and all the threats of being unmasked or undone are just suggestions to tease us, the willing readers. Another thing about your stories which would be a lesson to for us: it's not just about having diversity, but letting the cultural/societal aspects of that diversity become a thread or lead the story. For example, in the 2nd book of the Harry Potter series, Rowling tries to be politically correct and describes some of the attendees of Hogwarts by using their names. She intones a veritable list of ethnicities and religions, and that's it. There's no point to it other than to show indirectly that Hogwarts accepts all kinds of wizards and that Rowling is politically correct. Totally on the other hand, in your stories - and this story in particular -- the background of Lucien is used as a major plot aspect. It almost verges on historical fiction: I was really hoping that Toussaint L'Ouverture would make an appearance (I'm sure he's in the background of that Haitian slave revolt). I'm not at all disappointed that sex has a minor role in your stories, although I know some people have voiced their hope there would be more. The use of sex in many of this site's stories is usually fun, but in my opinion there's only a handful of authors who make the plot hinge on sex - and they do that by having the sex take on more significance than the physical act. For example, in rubbrsome's story **[The Conscript](https://www.gayspiralstories.com/newStory/show/6097)**, anal intercourse completes the circuitry (and it acts similarly in several of his stories). In **[Fulfilling Their Destiny](https://www.gayspiralstories.com/newStory/show/105311)** anal intercourse is needed as the final step to turn the recruits into dogs. I mention this only if you want to placate the GSS fans to need to have more sex. Personally speaking, I love enslavement. You quickly fast-forwarded over Todd's mental transformation to my disappointment. You spent a little more time with Marc's transformation, but it still went kinda fast for me. But maybe this is the kind of thing I have to write myself to satisfy my own desires rather than expect it from another writer, particularly one so rich in ideas and context as you. I hope you won't get any more writer's blocks soon. I'm also trying to think of cultural instances of magic that would adapt to your dark visions. Maybe something happening down the street from Lestat in New Orleans...or in Elysian Fields near Blanche and Stanley (it really is a neighborhood). Once again, BRAVO!

I looooove you Edlam. This story is amazing!

I second the feet suggestion! i think that would be the next step for these smell obsessed guys <3