Recent Comments

11/5/18, 7:14 PM
I think this story's got such a terrific premise, but it left me wanting more descriptions of the mental transformations and dumbing-down process. If you ever want to revisit the universe of this story, it would be so cool to retell it from the POV of one of the unwitting victims.
stroppy author
11/5/18, 7:10 PM
the others were gay. Were that I could give you the three minutes of your life back wasted on reading my story. AND THAT YOU ENDURED TO READ IT all the way through... you're a saint, sir. ... nawwww hell with that. BITE ME!
drgnawbones@gmail.com
11/5/18, 6:44 PM
You tagged this as gay to straight, but nothing like that happens. Also there are many, many errors.
Rbbrlover
11/5/18, 5:56 PM
i swear this story turned me on to foot fetish!!! i cant wait to read more!!!
Anonymous
11/5/18, 4:16 PM
good start, can't wait for the next sections.
Anonymous
11/5/18, 3:53 PM
The concept is there, but this felt more like reading a grocery list than an actual story. Slow it down a bit and let the characters react to the changes. It felt like the characters were saying "well, that's done, your turn, repeat"
Anonymous
11/5/18, 12:41 PM
I feel like I've read this story somewhere else before.
Anonymous
11/5/18, 10:05 AM
I also love cursed game stories but the magic of a TF/MC story is in the transition and in the characters. If you don't slow down and use more descriptive terms for the changes happening to the physical forms and the characters mental states whether aware or not, you will fail to grab the readers attention and make them care. Just spend more time crafting your story and it's world. Also, as a related note, it's typically not a good idea to repeat yourself over and over. You've written the words the game says to the participants for every round. The reader already understands after the second time that this will happen every time. So, when you continue to quote it every round you are being redundant and it gets boring to read. I don't mean to be overly critical. I'm just trying to pass along helpful information which will help you better reach your audience and maybe also create better wanking material for yourself. Cheers
Anonymous
11/5/18, 9:08 AM
i need more stories like this! i love how th set dynamics between individuals are changed when a stranger is introduced, especially with the Dom/Top was formally submissive towards the new character.
Anonymous
11/5/18, 3:51 AM
interesting but short