Recent Comments

Daniel
9/5/18, 3:26 PM
Just read this for the second time- dude, it was even sexier and pushed ALL of my buttons- you've gotta go get that baseball team....maybe some cops? THANKS MAN I.J.S.
9/5/18, 3:12 PM
Oh, you know I'm a sucker for underwear conformity stories -- and no one handles that theme like you! Looking forward to seeing where it goes.
9/5/18, 2:56 PM
I agree with you there! There's nothing worse than "Chapter 6: The Same Thing Happens to Another Guy" I initially "saw" Mikey's transformation taking much longer, but then I figured we all know what's going to happen so I might as well just get to it. (Which, long-winded as I am, is really saying something.) I also thought the scene between Bennett and Tino would be longer, as Tino discovered layer after layer of Bennett's plot. But again, we just didn't need it, so I significantly shortened the moment.
Daniel
9/5/18, 2:54 PM
DUDE- What can I say? You knocked this one out of the park- CONGRATS, MORE PLEASE ? I.J.S.
Daniel
9/5/18, 2:35 PM
LOVE SYFY EROTICA ! You're quite a master storyteller, very well written and great for a good wank I.J.S.
Cubwriter28
9/5/18, 2:24 PM
nycboot, youve inspired me to revisit this! got caught in writer's block but i am working on the sequel!!
9/5/18, 1:45 PM
Nope, I didn't feel it was too rushed. I think brevity is the soul of wit, especially when you're writing zombie stories, which can get repetitive fast.
Anonymous
9/5/18, 1:04 PM
That was fantastic! Word of advice, please don't jump P.O.V all willy nilly, it's kinda hard to follow the story line with the sudden jump from Eudemon to Sam and back to Eudemon. You could do two things to remedy that: * Separate the P.O.Vs, writing only from one of Eudemon only then a line break where only Sam's P.O.V is there. * Only write from one P.O.V per Chapter. * Or, Just write them with enough pacing to build it up. Not criticizing your work since I can't write what 12-year-olds are doing right... But yeah, more power to you for the great story!
Sep 12, 2011
Commenter from 2/11/16
9/5/18, 12:17 PM
> Each night for the next week, the man repeated the lesson, taking Jason further each night. He left the clamps on for a long time, and Jason discovered the shock of pain that came when they were removed. He clamped the nipples at the very tip, he clamped them at the base, letting Jason experience the different types of pain this caused. He twisted them. He pulled at them. Over and over the man manipulated Jason’s hands until Jason’s mind grew numb and his fingers automatically followed the man’s example, his mind conscious of nothing but the confusion of pleasure and pain. A CLASSIC. z119z for president
9/5/18, 11:32 AM
Hey, guys -- absman here! Thank you for the compliments and kind words. I was concerned about the pacing in this -- which I saw as a MUCH longer piece -- and was afraid it felt rushed. Glad you all liked it!