Recent Comments

Jun 20, 2018
AeonFlux
6/20/18, 9:12 PM
Perfect for me
Jun 20, 2018
Anonymous
6/20/18, 6:53 PM
So -- who wasn't gay that became gay? I'm confused. It was hot, but I'm confused.
Anonymous
6/20/18, 6:48 PM
Well, let me say it: this was poorly written. Do you understand that writing means 'editing?" Something as simple as hitting SpellCheck and GrammarCheck on MSWord. The program will do it for you. It's the simple things like punctuation, usage, that make a 'potentially good story' into a nuisance. I stuck with the story because it intrigued me, but it was torture. And, sadly, I also agree with the last comment. Where's the mind control? How does it happen? We can see the Alpha change, but how did the cop? Having done all that bashing: Don't stop writing -- just pay a little more attention to the detail. Read some of the other writers on his site, like Hypnothrill, who gave you an incredible compliment when he saw the genius in the last story you posted and developed the story line further. His story was well written! It can be done. Even for a website that posts erotica!!! It can be done!!
Anonymous
6/20/18, 5:49 PM
Great story!!
Anonymous
6/20/18, 5:19 PM
Not much mind control/hypno
BulgesFan
6/20/18, 4:58 PM
PLEASE CONTINUE THIS! I'M DYING TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!!
Mar 2, 2017
Anonymous
6/20/18, 4:39 PM
This was great except for one thing. The fattening. That was just weird. Did not like that
Anonymous
6/20/18, 3:50 PM
this has potential, can you continue this story?
Anonymous
6/20/18, 3:04 PM
No, stupid. It's 'futbol', but since I assume the author is American, he can't be bleeping perfect.
Anonymous
6/20/18, 3:03 PM
This is really interesting, but as usual, it was rushed. Shame Hypnothrill didn't write this story!!