Recent Comments

Franklin
6/2/18, 5:34 AM
For a first attempt, it's very good. Not only is it holding my interest but it's also quite hot. I hope you,don't mind a little constructive criticism. But I do think you need to work a little on structuring your sentences and your vocabulary skills. Try not to let your sentences go on too long. And use different terms sometimes instead of repeating the same word in a paragraph. But that's just something that will come to you the more you do it. Mind you, I am not complaining, just speaking from experience. So please don't take it the wrong way. I must say, you sure are quite a storyteller. The plot is very creative and shows you put a lot of thought into it. I want to tell you that I appreciate all your time and effort. In my opinion, there's not enough superhero stories on this site. And yours is one of the better ones I've read. So keep up the good work.
6/2/18, 3:16 AM
Though the sexy times are sexy I just wish that these stories had less of both "let's ruin the intelligence of those with smarts" and "lets blatently destroy the public life of them".
Cigarboycody
6/2/18, 12:34 AM
Once Will totally becomes a gym member, they will send him to college campuses to recruit new members
6/1/18, 11:56 PM
This is a lot of fun!
6/1/18, 11:17 PM
Totally not my fetish at all (Lief's ailment I find pretty disgusting) - but the story is well-written.
6/1/18, 10:51 PM
I really like your writing style, fantastic story!
Anonymous
6/1/18, 10:25 PM
Is Will supposed to return to the office and recruiting his colleagues using his IT skills or become a buffed trainer like Carter feeling pleasure by putting victims under mind control???
6/1/18, 10:10 PM
I'm so ready for Chapter 3
Anonymous
6/1/18, 9:53 PM
Confusing. Is the 'slut' the paparazzi guy ?
Anonymous
6/1/18, 9:40 PM
Ahhhh I was afraid Will would spoil it but reading he went to the police detective with the information I am feeling better. I'm assuming the detective just happens to be one of the two that are already gym members .... hehehe ... Will seems to be getting into the swing of things now :)