Recent Comments

shortnlookn
2/20/18, 3:43 AM
I loved this one, a bit different than most app stories. I would enjoy a sequel if it at all possible. Many apps like that try to get you to recruit friends you know . . .
Martin
2/20/18, 1:55 AM
This site is meant to be a place where to share your fantasies, a place to read abou similar fabtasies and, not least of all, to learn abou writing, getting feedback and getting better at this. Especially if you‘re not a native speaker. writing a story in an interesting, readable and enjoyable way can be really really tough. What works in your own language might not work at all in English, the vocabulary is limited and so on. Still, I want people to continue to write, to improve themselves. Don‘t get discouraged. Don‘t let anyone tell you otherwise. This is your work, you put a lot of effort into it, it‘s your fantasy, yours alone, you decided to share. To all the critiques: Critisicm is fine and welcome. But please mind the tone of your criticism. There‘s no need to offend the writer, ok? Martin
2/20/18, 1:13 AM
Don't let rude people discourage you. It is not easy to write, especially not in your native tongue. People who don't like the work should simply stop reading and move on. If it's not constructive criticism, then nothing said is best. Keep writing. Practice improves everything!
Moose
2/20/18, 12:34 AM
A new story by the legend! Awesome stuff!
trytoknowyou@gmail.com
2/20/18, 12:10 AM
Some people on here are just anonymous assholes. Ignore them, they don't contribute anything to site but vitriol.
Anonymous
2/19/18, 11:19 PM
Great work@
Anonymous
2/19/18, 11:09 PM
Thanks, I really appreciate your encouragement. I have noticed some good advice from some of these comments and I should review how I'm writing my stories. I thought that always using the Navy Seal instead of attaching a name to him was a good idea. I was wrong. As suggested, using shorter sentence would be better also. I'm opened to constructive comments but my intends was not to be destroyed by some guys. We all face already too much stress in our lives. I don't need to add more to it. When someone doesn't like something, there is always a good way to comment and it is called 'savoir vivre'. Unfortunately, some of you does not have any.
Anonymous
2/19/18, 10:45 PM
While the writing was clumsy there was enough of the story to come through to understand. A lot of writers have trouble transferring their ideas to paper. Many times they are already thinking about the ending when they are just starting the story and forget to add the details up front. It was/is an intriguing story with enough of what I found sexual to want to read more ! I hope you don't give up. Thank you for your courage to post a story.
Anonymous
2/19/18, 10:10 PM
Creative story. The 'familiarity' of the app hypnotizes the user so that he doesn't even realize what he's doing. It would be great if you could really make money like that for a 'show' !
Anonymous
2/19/18, 10:10 PM
I spend a lot of energy and hours to have something that I was expecting other to enjoy. I was wrong. I will keep my story for me. Sorry to have you lost your time. It will nto happened again. Regards.