Recent Comments

8/29/17, 3:52 AM
So exciting to see something else new from you. This is an extremely hot story. So well done!
Anonymous
8/29/17, 3:19 AM
Apart from the names getting all jumbled up in places, this was great.
8/29/17, 3:17 AM
It's not that you don't write about sex well, it's that practically all the other elements of the story overpower the sex - which is not a negative comment. When you think about most stories on here, there's actually not that much plot and very infrequently is there vivid character development. You've got them. One should do what one does well. Not to diminish from Catalyst, but if you want to experiment, perhaps try something where there are no supernatural effects or exotic settings, just the combination of lust & desire with mind control. Even in Proust the sex is minor. ;) Meanwhile I'm wondering how Jamal is going to deal with returning to England. He's changed and is now a different person - will his (presumably affectionate) memories come into conflict with the reality? (I wouldn't mind if you killed off Livia, unless her absence would harm the other four.) And Nazir, a Muslim, growing up under Jewish supervision - I can't believe it's that easy for him to feast on pork.
Anonymous
8/29/17, 2:15 AM
It seems like this one needs to spend a little more time dwelling on the changes in perspective. It all seems very sudden and rushed.
Anonymous
8/29/17, 1:45 AM
I enjoyed it. Ass and mind transformations are both pretty fun. Definitely interested in seeing what happens to the world when the product is shipped.
Andyrew36
8/29/17, 1:38 AM
Yes workignon the frat boy one tomorrow actually.
Swizzington
8/29/17, 12:58 AM
I find the historical aspect of this story particularly intriguing. It is not an approach often taken. Kudos!
Marvyn Greene
8/29/17, 12:54 AM
You're quite right - it should in English be the Most Serene Republic. My bad... Another issue is that Nazir is carrying promissory notes from the Medici bank about 80 years after it folded. Luckily his Fugger notes are still okay... Thank you for pointing this out. As for canning the sex, you are not the only reader to have suggested I do this, which is starting to make me think that maybe I don't write about sex very well. My feeling is that it makes a change to have historical fiction written from a homosexual perspective, but I take your point. Thank you for your mostly positive review - it's much appreciated.
Il Non-serenissimo
8/29/17, 12:11 AM
Although the story's action moved on from Venice a few days ago, I thought you might still be interested in one particular comment I have, just in case you are going to post the story elsewhere. How did the Venetian Republic, for a millennium known as La Serenissima, get downgraded to just the Serene Republic of Venice? We should be talking superlatives here! (The Venetians were never shy when it came to self-promotion.) Have I overlooked some cataclysmic event in Adriatic history? Catalyst is clearly a beautifully written, well thought out series by a highly erudite author who's a talent on all fronts. So much so that, hey, why not can the sex and just concentrate on the elements of fantasy and the historical backdrop (yeah, right)? There's plenty for the reader to absorb right there.
Anonymous
8/28/17, 11:39 PM
Great thank you