Recent Comments

Anonymous
8/21/17, 11:53 PM
normally i like a story to build up, lead me on, etc, but this one was perfect, wham bam thank you mam, or in this case man! getting right to the heart of the matter, or should I say head of the matter
Anonymous
8/21/17, 4:49 PM
So So HOT Wish we could see how Benny's tight twink hole would be taken... Making me hard again ;P
Spandexlad83
8/21/17, 12:02 PM
First, how far apart are these apartments? 10 minutes is a lot of time, for them to be neighbors in an apartment building, or maybe this is an apartment complex and the two apartments are in different buildings across the complex. So I would shorten the time or explain why it takes him so long, like he seems ready to leave at that moment. The other thing is that the phrase "it's not much but it's home for now" doesn't strike the same odd response in me as it does the character so it feels like the character is making a weird leap. To me it seems like the guy is saying he hasn't finished moving in, like he's planning on buying some shelves or a new sofa not that he's planning on moving out. I would consider changing the wording or adding in a pause so he says "it's home" and then says quietly "...for now" that would show his intent better. Everything else is pretty good story wise.
Anonymous
8/21/17, 10:06 AM
Wow. Not a single full stop in the entire story. That's nearly impressive.
Anonymous
8/21/17, 8:01 AM
I really want to see the tables turned on the nerds!
Anonymous
8/21/17, 7:06 AM
Very well done Though I wish they weren't swimming-jocks. That's already halfway to twinks! ;P
Anonymous
8/21/17, 6:09 AM
Great story. Please continue.
Anonymous
8/21/17, 4:29 AM
Damn that was hot
Anonymous
8/21/17, 4:18 AM
I'm disappointed...This could have been super hot if there weren't so many grammar problems. Putting them in paragraphs helps make it easier to read as well. As it is now, even as my biggest kink...I wasn't turned on at all :/. Pretty good for a first story though.
AeonFlux
8/21/17, 3:24 AM
I do agree with the idea of proofreading........ I'm german so reading was quite difficult........ but nice start