Recent Comments

Darmani
6/10/17, 12:01 AM
thanks for sharing, hmm what should I try to get the "feel" of lovecraft/weird fiction. either way that was a freudian brilliance moment I suppose with Cuck/Chuck
Anonymous
6/9/17, 11:46 PM
I agree that the story is great but it needs better formatting.
Anonymous
6/9/17, 11:05 PM
This could be a great story but PLEASE break up those paragraphs, this was very difficult to read. Every new line of dialog spoken by a different character needs to be a new paragraph.
ChaoticDjinn
6/9/17, 9:06 PM
Hey, ChaoticDjinn here. First off thanks to everyone who read the story, even if it wasn't really up your alley :3. This piece was a commission for someone on my tumblr and was written to be roughly within a certain range. I had a little bit more to it, but it felt slightly unnecessary to me. I tend to ramble and attempt to cut that habit from my writing, going for more of a less is more approach in comes cases(maybe a side effect of reading Lovecraft). Re the feedback loop and the changing of the entire world, it was planned and not just thrown in. The look created between the two grew to such masculine heights that it spiraled out and changed the very definition, or threshold of manliness. Since the bar was set so high, very few if any men as they existed would meet the new baseline, so the aberrant magic the genie unleashed spiraled out and brought others up to the new threshold, adjusting the world accordingly. That was the idea anyway. Re changes like Chuck and cuck, no matter how many times I go over something i've written my brain refuses see the error and reads it how i see it in my minds eye. Basically, i blow at editing my own stories.
Anonymous
6/9/17, 7:50 PM
It looks like Coach had different types of CDs to program Bradley. Yummy!!
Anonymous
6/9/17, 7:48 PM
Awesome
Darmani
6/9/17, 7:29 PM
The feedback loop between the two of them I get but why do you think entire campus World change? I assume the jinn was dipping on any level of masculinity and pushing to more exaggerated levels. At most I could see a contradiction of asking a personality/abstract trait to be altered and stay the same. But it seems ultimately the loop warped reality just Cuz? I don't know if some word or other changes were intended or not. Like chuck to cuck or the seeming ballooning of roomiest. And no clue why every fell to tom/tops control that way Basically the subtle stuff went by and the brazen too fast. The setup and exploration was nice guess wanted more?
Anonymous
6/9/17, 6:47 PM
Great to see a protagonist to sacrifice himself to become a jock. You have a great writing skill.
Anonymous
6/9/17, 6:30 PM
It makes feel shred : )
Anonymous
6/9/17, 6:13 PM
Great to see it. Love it.