Recent Comments

Anonymous
6/10/17, 3:28 PM
amazing job . Hope we get something similar
Anonymous
6/10/17, 2:03 PM
Fantastic
TimNJ
6/10/17, 9:59 AM
Another hot story but if you dont mind me asking did you use a subway map or what? The actual name of the stop is New Utrecht Ave and that's the next stop after my own; so besides being in my mind, your stories are now in my neighborhood! You were spot on with Vinnie, Paulie and the Puerto Rican neighbor. Add some Middle Eastern or Asian men for your next installment and you'll have really all the men in the neighborhood covered lol.
Anonymous
6/10/17, 5:25 AM
Great story!! I would suggest you could introduce one or two friends of Bradley with name; yes, sequels!! Hope one of them got suspicious about Cauch's secret program due to Bradley's change and try to investigate. In the end, Bradley, now loyal to Coach and the Team, caught his friend and transformed him into another jock.
ChaoticDjinn
6/10/17, 3:42 AM
Side note voice to text on my phone sucks.
ChaoticDjinn
6/10/17, 3:30 AM
I have heard of the rule of three it comes up in most literary entities . That's the rub of writing commissions I think. Both my stories posted on here had to be between a specific range of characters and future certain things, so I couldn't have things exactly how I wanted them if I writing a story with no limitations. My next thing on here will probably be something that I just write for myself. Thanks for the feedback.
Anonymous
6/10/17, 2:18 AM
Great installment. I read it with PC and had no problem. It was slightly hard with smart phone. I love your way to construct the story and narrative. Nice weekend!!
Anonymous
6/10/17, 2:04 AM
I think I figured out why these feel short. Have you heard of the literary Rule of Threes? Most things happen in threes. One change, two changes, and a third final change, to finish it off. There's another one, less known, but I consider the rule of seven. If you want something to seem numerous, without a distinct quantity, have seven occurrences of it (especially in graphic design, your eye is trained to notice patterns of 4, 5, or 6, but seven gets more difficult). Your stories barely hit two changes per character, so they feel brief. One-and-done is fine, but a progressive change with only two steps feels unfulfilled.
6/10/17, 2:04 AM
Loved it! I hope there are more transformations for guys in your universe!
ChaoticDjinn
6/10/17, 1:07 AM
I'd say one of my favorites of his is the color of outer space however I wouldn't say my writing is necessarily lovecraftian because lovecraftian horror and erotica don't mix very well usually. I just like leaving some descriptions or interpretations up to the reader