Recent Comments

Anonymous
6/10/17, 2:18 AM
Great installment. I read it with PC and had no problem. It was slightly hard with smart phone. I love your way to construct the story and narrative. Nice weekend!!
Anonymous
6/10/17, 2:04 AM
I think I figured out why these feel short. Have you heard of the literary Rule of Threes? Most things happen in threes. One change, two changes, and a third final change, to finish it off. There's another one, less known, but I consider the rule of seven. If you want something to seem numerous, without a distinct quantity, have seven occurrences of it (especially in graphic design, your eye is trained to notice patterns of 4, 5, or 6, but seven gets more difficult). Your stories barely hit two changes per character, so they feel brief. One-and-done is fine, but a progressive change with only two steps feels unfulfilled.
6/10/17, 2:04 AM
Loved it! I hope there are more transformations for guys in your universe!
ChaoticDjinn
6/10/17, 1:07 AM
I'd say one of my favorites of his is the color of outer space however I wouldn't say my writing is necessarily lovecraftian because lovecraftian horror and erotica don't mix very well usually. I just like leaving some descriptions or interpretations up to the reader
Anonymous
6/10/17, 12:16 AM
Can't wait to see how Bradley actually looked like during sessions with Coach. It's a great introduction and great kick off towards the main dish. Good luck
Darmani
6/10/17, 12:01 AM
thanks for sharing, hmm what should I try to get the "feel" of lovecraft/weird fiction. either way that was a freudian brilliance moment I suppose with Cuck/Chuck
Anonymous
6/9/17, 11:46 PM
I agree that the story is great but it needs better formatting.
Anonymous
6/9/17, 11:05 PM
This could be a great story but PLEASE break up those paragraphs, this was very difficult to read. Every new line of dialog spoken by a different character needs to be a new paragraph.
ChaoticDjinn
6/9/17, 9:06 PM
Hey, ChaoticDjinn here. First off thanks to everyone who read the story, even if it wasn't really up your alley :3. This piece was a commission for someone on my tumblr and was written to be roughly within a certain range. I had a little bit more to it, but it felt slightly unnecessary to me. I tend to ramble and attempt to cut that habit from my writing, going for more of a less is more approach in comes cases(maybe a side effect of reading Lovecraft). Re the feedback loop and the changing of the entire world, it was planned and not just thrown in. The look created between the two grew to such masculine heights that it spiraled out and changed the very definition, or threshold of manliness. Since the bar was set so high, very few if any men as they existed would meet the new baseline, so the aberrant magic the genie unleashed spiraled out and brought others up to the new threshold, adjusting the world accordingly. That was the idea anyway. Re changes like Chuck and cuck, no matter how many times I go over something i've written my brain refuses see the error and reads it how i see it in my minds eye. Basically, i blow at editing my own stories.
Anonymous
6/9/17, 7:50 PM
It looks like Coach had different types of CDs to program Bradley. Yummy!!