Recent Comments

ChaoticDjinn
6/10/17, 3:42 AM
Side note voice to text on my phone sucks.
ChaoticDjinn
6/10/17, 3:30 AM
I have heard of the rule of three it comes up in most literary entities . That's the rub of writing commissions I think. Both my stories posted on here had to be between a specific range of characters and future certain things, so I couldn't have things exactly how I wanted them if I writing a story with no limitations. My next thing on here will probably be something that I just write for myself. Thanks for the feedback.
Anonymous
6/10/17, 2:18 AM
Great installment. I read it with PC and had no problem. It was slightly hard with smart phone. I love your way to construct the story and narrative. Nice weekend!!
Anonymous
6/10/17, 2:04 AM
I think I figured out why these feel short. Have you heard of the literary Rule of Threes? Most things happen in threes. One change, two changes, and a third final change, to finish it off. There's another one, less known, but I consider the rule of seven. If you want something to seem numerous, without a distinct quantity, have seven occurrences of it (especially in graphic design, your eye is trained to notice patterns of 4, 5, or 6, but seven gets more difficult). Your stories barely hit two changes per character, so they feel brief. One-and-done is fine, but a progressive change with only two steps feels unfulfilled.
6/10/17, 2:04 AM
Loved it! I hope there are more transformations for guys in your universe!
ChaoticDjinn
6/10/17, 1:07 AM
I'd say one of my favorites of his is the color of outer space however I wouldn't say my writing is necessarily lovecraftian because lovecraftian horror and erotica don't mix very well usually. I just like leaving some descriptions or interpretations up to the reader
Anonymous
6/10/17, 12:16 AM
Can't wait to see how Bradley actually looked like during sessions with Coach. It's a great introduction and great kick off towards the main dish. Good luck
Darmani
6/10/17, 12:01 AM
thanks for sharing, hmm what should I try to get the "feel" of lovecraft/weird fiction. either way that was a freudian brilliance moment I suppose with Cuck/Chuck
Anonymous
6/9/17, 11:46 PM
I agree that the story is great but it needs better formatting.
Anonymous
6/9/17, 11:05 PM
This could be a great story but PLEASE break up those paragraphs, this was very difficult to read. Every new line of dialog spoken by a different character needs to be a new paragraph.