Recent Comments

5/12/17, 3:02 AM
What an imagination and what a story! - Bravo!
Anonymous
5/12/17, 1:07 AM
Oh, man! the last part was sweeter than I expected! I like the fact that Jevon s totally aware of the changes, and I like the new additions, I really like that he's becoming an almost cartoonish stereotype. Do you plan to give him some graffiti touches or a certain hiphop style? I'm dying to know what is his new work! B ut this chapter left me some questions: is all the people around Jevon changing? it sounds like Dante was drastically altered, and that he used to be more refined and sucessful. Are you planning a spin-off, or a small story about Dante? that would be great to read!
tomozco
5/11/17, 10:23 PM
This is insanely awesome, Edlam! Had me on the edge all the way through, literally ;) Why don't you just become a full time writer... LOL! Love the clueless corruption of the minds, the helpless realization of their fate and the endless incestuous trap they are stuck in! The magic/eternal life bit was not totally my thing, as it takes away a bit from the reality of the scenario, but I'm not bothered by it relative to the overall storyline. It'd be cool for Jerry to organize a gathering or a 'mass' with a bunch of his followers....after all, they can only feel the pleasure amongst fellow members, so why not share and spread the love?! :) Keep up all the good work!!!
Anonymous
5/11/17, 6:08 PM
This should totally crossover into your main story you're doing right now. Like a Marvel Comics event
Anonymous
5/11/17, 5:04 PM
Great Story Love the transformation. Change him with more Piercings and bleach bis dreads....
Anonymous
5/11/17, 4:18 PM
You gotta start changing his clothes, man. Tight wifebeaters -- SO hot
Willie Cici
5/11/17, 3:30 PM
I didn't see a sequel in this story, but your comments have fueled inspiration. Let me see what happens.
5/11/17, 1:28 PM
Oh, I'm aware of very accepting religions. Not really trying to attack religion, just enjoy a devout and slightly homophobic family being corrupted. I grew up in South Dakota where many of the Christian churches were pretty loud about their homophobia, so there is an element of personal redemption here writing about stuff that did bother me when I was younger. Not trying to offend any beliefs beyond homophobia.
5/11/17, 1:23 PM
Thanks, that's the highest complement a writer on this site can receive ;-)
5/11/17, 12:03 PM
Thanks for the feedback, guys! To answer the above comment: I'm aware of the proper medical definition of the word 'serum' and have factored that into my worldbuilding. I can't really say much more than that. ;)