Recent Comments

Anonymous
4/14/17, 6:07 PM
I dont feel like this story was written by the real baralai, but i could be wrong thou
4/14/17, 3:34 PM
Hugh Michelsen (one of the Site Admin's) here. This story has been years in the making. I am so happy to see it published and available for anyone to read. If you like humiliation and reality warping, you'll definitely like it. Especially if you read those types of stories and find yourself wanting more. At 100,000 words, you definitely won't feel unsatisfied. Also, way to go Lloyd!
Jun 25, 2010
AeonFlux@hotmail.de
4/14/17, 1:56 PM
Perfecly writen.......I need some of that.....can I get it bottled ???
B-anonymous
4/14/17, 12:23 PM
I felt that the ending was ok; but I was left wondering what happened to the other characters left out. Birch, the coach, etc.
Boone
4/14/17, 5:50 AM
Thanks for give it an ending. My favourite chapters were 8 and 9, and all about Hardcore, that was my favourite storyline. The last comment is too harsh for me. I agree that it felts a little bit anticlimatic, and unfocused, but I wouldn't call it "a big dissapointment", in no way. The last chapter was so over the top that you would expect that the whole team was going to pass for really debasing situations, with oversexualised endings (I thought that Frost and Apollo were going to end as dumb street whores, offering themselves in their superhero costumes, or as slaves at the servise of super villains), but that would had been too centered in sex, and not in a plot. It's a good ending, and I'm glad that you've keep Frost alive. I hope you would continue with the spin off that you mentioned in one comment, focused on Hardcore, but I imagine you are somewhat bored of this universe and plan to focus on other worlds, which is something totally comprehensible.
Anonymous
4/14/17, 4:31 AM
Unfortunately this is not where I was hoping this would go. Anticlimactic, dues ex machina, and a complete turn in narrative focus. I believe the story peaked with Hardcore's corruption, but from then on the kinks got tamer and far less dynamic and interesting. To many characters existed by the finale. Overall a big disappointment, too nice an ending, with no payoff for so much of the set up. In the end, I think had the story remained small focused and remained far more grounded in "Jesse's" point of view and had less (often poor) dialogue, and instead we were meant to interpret their changes via behavior, it would have turned out far better.
Anonymous
4/14/17, 3:34 AM
A NEW CHAPTER SAY WHAAAATTTTT! one of, if not, my favorite writers on here
Anonymous
4/14/17, 12:16 AM
Thank you SO much!!
Anonymous
4/13/17, 11:29 PM
But "the good guys" you mentioned are not necessarily that "good" ... right? I still wanted the professor to win. Just sick of seeing Alex.
Apr 11, 2017
Anonymous
4/13/17, 4:22 PM
so fucking good , hit all my pleasure points. Do you have more stuff like this on other sites ?