Recent Comments

Anonymous
2/19/17, 1:41 PM
Great story. Thanks for writing!
Feb 18, 2017
Anonymous
2/19/17, 1:31 PM
Awesome start. Perhaps you could leave a paragraph to every dialogue and not make it into a whole paragraph would be great. But nevertheless. Cant wait for the next chapter. Very unique story and am excited for the next one. Thanks for sharing btw.
Feb 18, 2017
Anonymous
2/19/17, 12:40 PM
Great story. Just one comment: the character should not know it's a chapter - he's just telling a story.
Anonymous
2/19/17, 8:53 AM
Great story. Totally sucked me into the emotional rollercoaster :) Thanks for sharing it.
Anonymous
2/19/17, 8:39 AM
Wonderfully written...excellent
Anonymous
2/19/17, 8:02 AM
The lack of comments speaks volumes.
simon
2/19/17, 6:55 AM
would like to read more
Anonymous
2/19/17, 5:57 AM
I'm liking the emasculation!
Feb 18, 2017
Kyle
2/19/17, 5:17 AM
Great story. Interesting approach to jinxing, very clever. My only advice right now about dialogue would be to make a new paragraph each time someone different speaks. It makes it easier to keep track as to who is talking. The context and turn-based nature of your dialogue makes it work how you've done it but I think you'll find doing the standard paragraph thing may make things easier for you as well as your readers. Great work. Thanks for writing something and sharing it.
Anonymous
2/19/17, 2:40 AM
this is one of the best storys i have read as of late, really very good and well done