Recent Comments

Anonymous
2/19/17, 8:39 AM
Wonderfully written...excellent
Anonymous
2/19/17, 8:02 AM
The lack of comments speaks volumes.
simon
2/19/17, 6:55 AM
would like to read more
Anonymous
2/19/17, 5:57 AM
I'm liking the emasculation!
Feb 18, 2017
Kyle
2/19/17, 5:17 AM
Great story. Interesting approach to jinxing, very clever. My only advice right now about dialogue would be to make a new paragraph each time someone different speaks. It makes it easier to keep track as to who is talking. The context and turn-based nature of your dialogue makes it work how you've done it but I think you'll find doing the standard paragraph thing may make things easier for you as well as your readers. Great work. Thanks for writing something and sharing it.
Anonymous
2/19/17, 2:40 AM
this is one of the best storys i have read as of late, really very good and well done
Anonymous
2/19/17, 2:25 AM
amazing! awesome slow build. love the focus on the mental degradation.
Feb 18, 2017
Anonymous
2/19/17, 12:30 AM
Hmm a lot of things wanderer(shadow of the colossus flashbacks) said could have a ton of fun repercussions
Anonymous
2/18/17, 10:09 PM
Loving the twink boi makeover!
A
2/18/17, 9:22 PM
Maybe a poolside bar date?