Recent Comments

hypnothrill@yahoo.com
2/11/17, 3:01 AM
Thanks so much for all your suggestions and detailed feedback, guys! They're definitely giving me ideas for future installments, so keep them coming. About the relative lack of physical descriptions in my stories--that's intentional. When I read stories on this site, overly-detailed descriptions of the characters' looks are usually a turn-off for me, because those descriptions often make me feel like the characters are "not my type." I figure that we all have different tastes in men, and I want to leave the options open in terms of how readers "fantasy cast" the characters, if they're in to that sort of thing. (For me, I never think much about how the characters look when I'm writing). I even try to avoid specifying races or ethnicities.
BootedLeatherCigar
2/11/17, 12:44 AM
Come on mate, we need some more of your great work pronto! It's been far too long...
Anonymous
2/10/17, 11:46 PM
Also, quick question. What happened to Travis? We haven't seen anything from his point of view yet.
Anonymous
2/10/17, 11:33 PM
The story was an intriguing premise. I'm just not a fan of the graphic sexual content. Jock tfs always hook me, though, so I usually just do my best to skip past the sexual stuff. I agree with some of the previous comments. I don't know anything about what these characters really look like. I don't know about their hair color, the shape of their faces, the original body build versus the growth they've experienced, initial height, initial weight, that sort of thing. I'd like to be able to picture what they look like more, before they change, and then see what they look like in detail as they're changing to become meatheads. And it goes without saying I'd like to see what they're like when they're fully converted, too. I'm going to take a wild guess that the sauce has mind-altering properties to it that make them more susceptible to the music. I like that. I wish I could see more of the gradual impact of what each of these processes has on the individual. One from Meatheads, one from Meatz, and one from the Meat Pit. I know they all intersect at one point or another, but the indoctrination from each of them would be great to see, before they cross and/or reach that dramatic point you've shown for the side characters from the first chapter. As for how to close/continue, that's a tough one. Scott appears to be the one who will last the longest, since he has the most resistance. Then again, his old man could easily trump that by forcing him to eat the food, and making him sit down to watch Meatheads. Personally, I think it'd be better if his older brother were the one to get him into it, but that's just me. As the others said, I'd like to be able to see some of the men behind this sinister plot as well, or at least get glimpses of them at some point. Maybe make a scene involving them towards the end that can pave the way for a sequel series? I'd love to see more of that hive mind sort of thing showing up, or team spirit, if you prefer. I can see hints of it with some of your characters' perspectives noting how the people are turning more into sorts of twins of each other. Maybe you can highlight how their "meat" is starting to feel a little heavier and snug in their clothes or something as the changes effect that part of their anatomy while they're puzzling over the whole thing that's happening to them? I'd love to hear their perspectives or thoughts over the matter as they're gradually converted. The lawyer seemed a little too fast a change in my opinion. He must have been a very easy subject for hypnosis to be that easy to snare, and change that dramatically. Anyways, those are my critiques. Still loving the dumb jock mentality you're going with here. Keep up the good work for the tfs. I'm intrigued where this will go.
Oct 2, 2006
Anonymous
2/10/17, 11:32 PM
Strange story but I like the almost hive like state
2/10/17, 11:32 PM
^^ Hoping I have nothing but praise. (Actually, I rarely comment on other people's stories.)
Anonymous
2/10/17, 10:42 PM
Cris, I'm glad you and other critics are on this site. I have some stories brewing and I'm actually (masochistically?) Looking forward to having them dissected.
Anonymous
2/10/17, 10:29 PM
Great work as always...thanks!
Anonymous
2/10/17, 9:16 PM
I meant Scott becoming a dumb muscled evangelical for Meatz, loyal to the owner of the whole scam and love ribs, from a smart conscious liberal embraciging animal rights and never ate meats.
Anonymous
2/10/17, 9:11 PM
Ironic justice -- the homophobes become homos, sent to Brazil with millions of dollars and tons fo free time to cavort. Punishment ? ? ?