Recent Comments

Anonymous
2/10/17, 4:48 AM
@Defending is one hell of a drug For me, it had nothing to do with politics. I couldn't care less about that in a story unless it actually has a pivotal role to play. What was lacking was proper transition and a clearly defined motive, which thanks to the author explaining it per comments, made it make sense. You fail your audience when you cannot get them to see the perspective you've designed or a parallel structure to it thereof and this missed the mark entirely. While I disagree against those who wanted to attack it because they saw something political about it, most of this could have been avoided if it was clearly defined what was going on and why was it necessary. All this gave was a who, where and what and how, not the when and why, the last especially the huge part of any story that is needed. This isn't a bash, but honesty. Orrin, you're an incredible writer, but when the heat comes, like in this case, you scream and run away. Take the heat with stride, learn to improve or else wherever you go on another site, it won't be the last time. Learn to stop running and get where some of the fans with common sense that love your style are telling you when something is tacky or just doesn't make much sense at all. They are the individuals who love your work and know when you can do better, like in this instance.
xORRiNx
2/10/17, 4:34 AM
Fuck it. I'm in a pretty bad mood from having to defend a back story of all things. Peace out gayspirals. I'll keep writing but not here.
Anonymous
2/10/17, 4:22 AM
Warped mind!! But I'm loving this series. It's like 'The Sopranos' in hell -- and hot steamy sex!
Feb 9, 2017
Anonymous
2/10/17, 4:15 AM
So hot!!!! I especially loved the part about how swallowing made him cum too!
Anonymous
2/10/17, 3:35 AM
@Haters Got To Hate lol Tell me where I was wrong. The story really is a lot better if read at the start of the shower scene. The introduction for Taylor and Zack were detailed in that part, and when they meet, you learn about their relationship and that Taylor is an openly gay jock. Telling the audience why it happened to them isn't necessary and making it about politics, which also doesn't make sense, actually ruined it. It's the reason why Hannibal Rising sucks; His backstory is ridiculous, unnecessary, and was better left a mystery, just like the motive of this story's antagonist.
Anonymous
2/10/17, 3:06 AM
“No way dude. You know I’m not into that ‘help me I’m a writer who wants to improve’ shit, haha,” xORRiNx joked back, almost like he’d had to defend his inertia to people on a regular basis. Cris laughed and returned his attention back to surfing better stories on his laptop. XORRiNx also situated himself in bed with his computer.
Anonymous
2/10/17, 1:06 AM
Great story!!
Cris Kane
2/9/17, 11:47 PM
Oh, Orrin, if you had hoped this was going to die down, I fear your "Grow up!" comment is just going to make things worse for you. I'm not going to get into the politics, although I suspect others will. I do find it troubling that you're now attacking your readers for disagreeing with your premise. In my opinion, which several others have also voiced, you set up your story poorly and illogically. For many people, this doesn't matter. If they're watching porn, they don't care why the pizza guy showed up and why he's taking off his clothes, they just want to get to the hot sex. Others have a greater interest in the psychological aspects of these stories and are sincerely voicing their problems with the motivation of your antagonist which keeps them from buying into your premise and the scenario that springs from it. You're a talented writer, but you've also got a lot to learn.
Tox
2/9/17, 11:26 PM
Loving the series so far :) as for the first comment and the one supporting it, I mean sure, gaining isn't the healthiest fetish, I'll give anon that, but the original post didn't simply say it was unhealthy like you, the OP posted that it "shouldn't be fetishized", completely different. After all, "YKINMK".
Exhibitionist
2/9/17, 9:58 PM
I love walking around other guys topless & in my tighties. That is an awesome feeling.