Recent Comments

bimarguynj
1/31/17, 4:05 AM
Great story absman Would be nice to see an alumni story follow up
Anonymous
1/31/17, 3:57 AM
Dear Anonymous Keep writing. But remember, the spoken story is not the same as the written story. The reader does not know your mind. You have to use words to describe what your mind is thinking. This sometimes adds what is perceived as unnecessary dialogue or description, but it is crucial. Keep writing. Have your friends read the story before you send into the world wild web. The readers on this site want fresh minds and the expression of that mind. Now, if you're scared, that's another thing. If you have a thin skin, then don't bother. Criticism will help you grow as a "creative writer." Now, let's see you next chapter or your next story.
The Site Admin
1/31/17, 2:41 AM
Seriously, did no one read the request at the end for help? Quit being negative and offer to help. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all
Jan 29, 2017
jpoppinga
1/31/17, 2:10 AM
Love the way you incorporate pictures into the story.
Anonymous
1/31/17, 2:08 AM
I appreciate the effort, you should just work on a story bit by bit, writing when you are in the mood, and get really descriptive of how the characters feel. Don't take the harsh criticisms too hard, but realize that they all have merit, and address things you should work on
Anonymous
1/31/17, 1:23 AM
No need to be rude but I won't be posting again thanks .
Anonymous
1/31/17, 1:12 AM
You don't need an editor.... you need a writer that can take this "idea" and expand it into something resembling an actual story. Someone who can fill in the details, and make it interesting.
Anonymous
1/31/17, 12:00 AM
This had a twist that I did not expect. I had to go back tor read the story. Then, I found the moment where Jason could have overheard Kyle's induction. Sex was hot. Loved it. I usually don't look at the pics, but the pic depicting Jason is smokin' hot.
Anonymous
1/30/17, 11:57 PM
Very clever. Loved it.
Anonymous
1/30/17, 11:55 PM
Yes. You need an editor. This was awful.