Recent Comments

1/6/17, 5:44 AM
How about instead of complaining about the grammar and spelling (on a free story that no one asked anyone to read), you offer to help the author by editing the story? New authors have a really difficult time getting people to read/review/edit their stories. Want new writers to continue writing? Give them a hand. It's really not that hard and it would most likely be appreciated.
Anonymous
1/6/17, 5:21 AM
I'm loving this. Great start!!
Anonymous
1/6/17, 5:15 AM
The critiques offered are not out of malice. There are born from "fraternity." The readers want new writers to excel and present good work. The author reading these critiques should not be insulted. Sometimes the truth is harsh. Having said that, the story is hot. I can't wait for the next chapter. Hopefully, it's readable. Keep it up -- the writing that is.
Anonymous
1/6/17, 4:26 AM
Both chapters are amazing Keep it up
1/6/17, 3:53 AM
Wow...totally unique! Mysterious and arousing scene!!
UchihaDEMS
1/6/17, 3:40 AM
Grammar its important but the continuity on the story line is even more important (like, how is that the sound is just low enough for a dog to hear but the cop... a human being, could hear it too? And if he could, how does the young man did not? Also, it seems the program makes him forget who he was but after the program ended, he could tell everything... and if he asked the cop to tell his purpose, he never did). You have several errors here and there, though I could understand it I do suggest you to always do a proof read before posting. If you are not an english speaker, try to catch someone who is. Having said that, let me say that this was very hot and super rare story. A 50 years old man as a victim its pretty uncommon and the fact its being made a slave and a bottom, with a young man as master is even better. I do hope to see more.
tomozco
1/6/17, 3:32 AM
Thanks for reading! Haha...obviously this is only a pure fantasy, so none of these situations would even be remotely possible in real life....never mind the cumming, just the permanent imprisonment is unfeasible in any physical or biological way. So my only theory to explain this is: let your imagination run freely! LOL ;)
Anonymous
1/6/17, 2:43 AM
Use Grammarly! It's free and takes it one step further than spellcheck.
Anonymous
1/6/17, 1:12 AM
Hope Ashley gets his insides creamed in the Breeding Barn
Anonymous
1/6/17, 12:59 AM
Awesome scene!