Recent Comments

Anonymous
4/27/16, 5:22 AM
I know it's never fun as an author to receive negative feedback, but I'll make it constructive. This story had some potential, but first off it needed more editing (way too many "her" pronouns left over). Grammar aside, this story lacked two main things for me: (1) A believable protagonist, and (2) any actual risk/threat/conflict. To expand on (1) seriously, who has not heard of a genie? Beyond that, just the emotional and mental development of the protagonist doesn't make any sense, it's beyond realistic to the point of silliness for the sake of where you're going at the end. To expand on (2), you've made the protagonist simply omnipotent and it's just pointless. There was/is an author on here who wrote at least two series that I kinda liked, but he made the protagonist too powerful to the point where it's just not interesting anymore. To borrow from all the comic book movies out today, would Superman be interesting AT ALL if there were peace in the universe and no one opposed him? Or if you like Marvel, Apocalypse is a seemingly unbeatable character, or the Juggernaut, but they each have at least one weakness that the heroes exploit.
D
4/27/16, 4:47 AM
hopin for more of this soon bruh
Anonymous
4/27/16, 12:52 AM
He's much better off this way.
4/26/16, 11:51 PM
As hot as this is, I think this would've benefited from a spell check before posting. A bassoon is a musical instrument, not a vocal range, which made for a pretty damn funny mental image. Also graveling/groveling, complied/compelled, and others, but hey, you don't learn if you don't make mistakes! I'm looking forward to seeing more from you - "dumb" is my favorite variety of jock, after all.
Anonymous
4/26/16, 9:39 PM
He seems happy enough.
Anonymous
4/26/16, 9:22 PM
That's my fault, I kind of broke Derek's brain a while ago.
Anonymous
4/26/16, 4:10 PM
Im guessing most of the stories on this site are ways of relieving our frustrations on our sadly straight friends,roommates, etc XD
Apr 16, 2015
Anonymous
4/26/16, 3:12 PM
Great story. I would love to hear more about Danny.
Anonymous
4/26/16, 8:39 AM
Awwwwww this is an horror story ! I usually like muscle theft stories but this one is so pointless!! I wish the main character exploded at the end... He is so awful and without any feeling... Absurd story... Stopped to be fun when he decided to go to the gym...he do these shit even to his best friend...nothing is said about how his friend is feeling afterward... There is zero psychological developpment ... Worst story I ever red
Anonymous
4/26/16, 5:25 AM
Guessing there's a real "Jake" in this writer's life.