Recent Comments

Anonymous
4/27/16, 3:56 PM
The premise I thought was going to be predictable. And then comes this sentence, "This new master is interesting. He is either cautious or unimaginative or both. I shall break him of this habit." That intrigues me. Let's hope that is the key to making this story line interesting.
Apr 16, 2015
Anonymous
4/27/16, 3:24 PM
More more more.....great story
Anonymous
4/27/16, 1:49 PM
Please finish this story. It's great
Anonymous
4/27/16, 9:30 AM
Okay! So this is a classic start showing great potential! I always love genie-wish story. It should be differentiated from those stories about hypnosis. It just seems that everything is till half on the way, so I have to simply wait for another chapter and chapter! Will Jake's father be Jake's first love slave? Will there be many other kinds of slaves? Like jocks, coaches, cops, soldiers, firemen, gangs from underworld... Brilliant! And also please make your works full of plots of reality shifting! Like Ollie369's "Reality He Wrote," which is a masterpiece! GO GO GO
Steve
4/27/16, 8:36 AM
I always find extreme dumbing down, especially when the character isn't a bad person, to be a turn off. At least in this case it isn't dwelled on enough to bring the story down!
Anonymous
4/27/16, 5:22 AM
I know it's never fun as an author to receive negative feedback, but I'll make it constructive. This story had some potential, but first off it needed more editing (way too many "her" pronouns left over). Grammar aside, this story lacked two main things for me: (1) A believable protagonist, and (2) any actual risk/threat/conflict. To expand on (1) seriously, who has not heard of a genie? Beyond that, just the emotional and mental development of the protagonist doesn't make any sense, it's beyond realistic to the point of silliness for the sake of where you're going at the end. To expand on (2), you've made the protagonist simply omnipotent and it's just pointless. There was/is an author on here who wrote at least two series that I kinda liked, but he made the protagonist too powerful to the point where it's just not interesting anymore. To borrow from all the comic book movies out today, would Superman be interesting AT ALL if there were peace in the universe and no one opposed him? Or if you like Marvel, Apocalypse is a seemingly unbeatable character, or the Juggernaut, but they each have at least one weakness that the heroes exploit.
D
4/27/16, 4:47 AM
hopin for more of this soon bruh
Anonymous
4/27/16, 12:52 AM
He's much better off this way.
4/26/16, 11:51 PM
As hot as this is, I think this would've benefited from a spell check before posting. A bassoon is a musical instrument, not a vocal range, which made for a pretty damn funny mental image. Also graveling/groveling, complied/compelled, and others, but hey, you don't learn if you don't make mistakes! I'm looking forward to seeing more from you - "dumb" is my favorite variety of jock, after all.
Anonymous
4/26/16, 9:39 PM
He seems happy enough.