Recent Comments

Original Poster
4/8/16, 4:44 PM
Thanks everyone :) I wrote this super late so it's kinda sloppy lol. It's based off my own personal fantasies so I'm glad you like it!
Anonymous
4/8/16, 4:08 PM
This story was amazing! Please write more!
cutlerfan
4/8/16, 4:01 PM
Loved it. Wonderful idea about the pen rewriting the guy's body and mind!
Anonymous
4/8/16, 3:59 PM
Awesome story man! Hope you keep writing! What does everyone think of Amon Amarth's new album? Pretty good, eh?
Anonymous
4/8/16, 3:56 PM
Great first try! Please keep going bro!
cutlerfan
4/8/16, 3:54 PM
Great Story! I love the change making him dumber and under control.
Leathered
4/8/16, 1:48 PM
Thanks for finishing the story. Davis is now in a good place. Hope to see more of your stories soon.
Anonymous
4/8/16, 11:15 AM
Very nice first try!
Anonymous
4/8/16, 9:08 AM
Overall, a very good first attempt. I definitely got hard. The confusion and dumbing down of Michael was very good; I particularly liked the way the buzz cut was forced upon him. For development, think about what your characters want. Is Brian into raunch (with the horrendous smell)? Why does he want to transform Michael and change his name? Is having a mindless himbo part of his plan?
Anonymous
4/8/16, 7:09 AM
Love the pen and rewriting concept. Agree with others that I'd like to see more...a series with additional guys rewritten. The blue ink could be fun especially if it changed a guys appearance. Likewise it would be fun to see the pen remove talents, abilities, and knowledge from a guy.