Recent Comments

cutlerfan
4/8/16, 3:54 PM
Great Story! I love the change making him dumber and under control.
Leathered
4/8/16, 1:48 PM
Thanks for finishing the story. Davis is now in a good place. Hope to see more of your stories soon.
Anonymous
4/8/16, 11:15 AM
Very nice first try!
Anonymous
4/8/16, 9:08 AM
Overall, a very good first attempt. I definitely got hard. The confusion and dumbing down of Michael was very good; I particularly liked the way the buzz cut was forced upon him. For development, think about what your characters want. Is Brian into raunch (with the horrendous smell)? Why does he want to transform Michael and change his name? Is having a mindless himbo part of his plan?
Anonymous
4/8/16, 7:09 AM
Love the pen and rewriting concept. Agree with others that I'd like to see more...a series with additional guys rewritten. The blue ink could be fun especially if it changed a guys appearance. Likewise it would be fun to see the pen remove talents, abilities, and knowledge from a guy.
Anonymous
4/8/16, 6:17 AM
Thanks for the new chapters! this is going so well! a little bit fast, but goes definitely well! Take your time to add descriptions of his body, his movement and behavior (for example, describe his flabby muscles, his chunky double chin, the change of his muscled pecs into big moobs, if now he waddles when he walks...) Would be interesting if some gossip magazines discovers Ben's new look, and he is massively humiliated due his new spoiled look!
Cris Kane
4/8/16, 3:09 AM
I agree with Viridian that spending more time with each guy and describing their mental changes in more detail would have been nice and even hotter. The physical changes were also pretty similar from one guy to the next. That said, I've already read it twice and really enjoyed it both times. Keep submitting!
Anonymous
4/8/16, 1:43 AM
This was amazing. Great work.
Anonymous
4/8/16, 1:06 AM
Very fun story! I like that Jason struggles as he's being overpowered - thanks for making that so gripping.
Mongo
4/8/16, 12:21 AM
I love this story, make me explode.